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Posts archive for: May, 2008

  • Sticky INSTRUCTION MANUAL NEEDED!

    by mumstheword @ 2008-05-13 – 16:00:11

    Welcome to "Mum's the Word"

    Don't forget a child is for life! Just because they've flown the nest you haven't seen or heard the last of them!

    Through this blog I'm hoping to help and understand my grown up daughter who is struggling with depression and is quite probably bi-polar.

    I am hoping to write a frank journal to help me cope with this situation. I am not sure how much of this will consist of "friends' only" postings. I will have to play it by ear.

    Note: If you suffer with depression or like me are trying to cope with a family member with depression and need help and support why not visit Stepping Stones a new support group started by BCUK members.

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  • Feeling Drained!

    by mumstheword @ 2008-05-26 – 11:47:39

    Well it's been just over six hours since my daughter's visit ended and although it went well I feel physically and emotionally drained. I keep mentally 'replaying' snippets of conversation we had during the ten days she spent with me. I keep asking myself have I done enough? have I said the right things? I just don't know.

    The next bit is down to her and I'm encouraging her to do more for herself rather than let others molly-coddle her. Am I being too hard on her? I really don't know. Her current boyfriend thinks she should be protected and this is where our opinions differ - I think that she needs to regain control of her life.

    Her sister and I had discussed this and we both agree that her 'condition' has worsened since she moved in with her boyfriend. He has encouraged her to reduce her working hours and she has become very dependent on him both emotionally and financially. She has lost her sparkle and vitality and spends too much time lazing about.

    I only hope that he doesn't persuade her against keeping her doctor's appointment.

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  • The Hardest Part?

    by mumstheword @ 2008-05-26 – 07:59:45

    The past few months have been extremely difficult. My daughter virtually pushed me away by repeatedly saying things like "I'm fine" "Don't worry about me" "I know what I'm doing" "I'm grown up". All the time I knew that things weren't alright and that she wasn't coping but I had to respect her wishes and "leave her to get on with it" and that for me was the hardest part.

    Just over two weeks ago I got the call saying "Mum can I come and stay, I do need help". She booked a one way ticket and arrived a few days later. When she arrived she was unhappy and confused and didn't want to face up to going back. This morning when she set off back she was much happier and ready to get some professional help.

    The process has been painful but I must be there for my daughter. I hope that her GP will realise that she needs further help.

    I will telephone her on Wednesday and see how she's getting on.

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  • The Visit #3

    by mumstheword @ 2008-05-26 – 06:43:07

    This morning was one of hugs and tears as I waved my daughter off.

    During the last ten days I have seen her become more relaxed and happy in herself. Last night she sat down and wrote out a list of things to mention to her GP. I deliberately didn't have any input and was pleased that she seems to have covered all the points that need raising with him. There was no point in me putting words or ideas into her head.

    Over the next few days I'll try to write a more detailed account of her problems.

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  • The Visit #2

    by mumstheword @ 2008-05-24 – 16:37:58

    Well the visit is nearly at an end and as you see I haven't kept a journal. I decided very early in the visit to let the events take their natural course. It was obvious to me that my daughter needed to relax and so the time has been spent in 'holiday mode'. We have had some lovely days out and there have been one or two conversations about her 'illness'. Now she has acknowledged that she needs professional help. So she's going back on Monday and has got an appointment with her GP on Tuesday PM.

    I feel she's now much happier and relaxed and hope that this break will give her the strength and determination to face the next steps.

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  • A Breakthrough

    by mumstheword @ 2008-05-14 – 16:45:07

    This morning my daughter arrived and after big hugs we set to making lunch together. I had already decided to let her set the pace and didn't have an agenda. As far as I was concerned she was coming for a couple of week's break to get through an emotional crisis. We would talk if and when she was ready.

    It wasn't long before she opened up and we talked about her present situation and we have agreed that she will get some expert help when she returns home. We are going to spend a little bit of time writing down all her symptoms and feelings along with a few observations that me, her sister and her boyfriend have made so that she can go to her GP properly prepared.

    Before that we are going to relax and spend some quality time and let her stress levels come right down.

    She thanked me for listening and for helping her see that she really does have genuine health problems. This is something she has previously denied. I feel we are finally making some headway. I know she has a long way to go but at least she now recognises and admits she needs help.

    Tonight she is having a 'girly night' with her sister and hopefully they will both let their hair down and have a laugh or six!

    Today has gone better than I'd expected.

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  • The Visit

    by mumstheword @ 2008-05-13 – 18:52:23

    "Sugar and spice and all things nice". That's what the Nursery Rhyme says that little girls are made of. There's another that says:

    There was a little girl
    Who had a little curl
    Right in the middle of her forehead
    When she was good she was very very good
    But when she was bad she was horrid

    That just about sums my daughter up - except that she's now an adult. She can be the funniest sweetest person you could wish to meet or she can say the most hurtful horrid things particularly to the ones who love her.

    She is having a bad time just now and tomorrow she is coming to stay with me. I am excited and scared about the visit. I have just spoken to her and she is happy and excited about coming to stay.

    I shall keep a daily journal of the visit which will no doubt have its highs and lows. Before I start the journal I need to write some background stuff but cannot get my head around it just now.

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